Appalling waste of money, time and energy
| |  | Oral sex with a condom |
| | | Penetrative sex |
When she came in everything seemed good. She was a very good looking long haired brunette, attractively dressed with immaculate make up. Her entrance was assured and confident. She went to the bathroom straight away which is never a good sign. It usually means she is applying lube. On her return she asked if I wanted to go upstairs. I declined and suggested we sit on the sofa for a bit. I leaned in and kissed her. She pecked me back. "I don't like kissing on the lips" So I am expected to pay 150 quid for a parlour shag?
Unfortunately that's exactly what I did. It'll get better I thought, she'll warm up. As soon as she feels my finger and tongue technique she'll be begging me not to stop. There's nothing like engorged loins for producing mindless optimism.
We went upstairs where she got undressed and massaged my back. She had warm hands, I'll give her that. She asked me what I liked so I replied oral. She wanked me to a barely interested semi while I fiddled with her bean. Hilariously, she backed her hips away, produced a condom and sucked me. When she deemed me hard enough she squatted over me. After a few minutes I spilled out and noticed I was barely erect enough to get back in. Trying to forget about everything that was on top of me I maintained an eighty per cent erection to the inevitable conclusion. My climax was as pleasurable, exciting and satisfying as pressing the soap dispenser.
She returned to the bathroom while I awaited naked next door. She emerged dressed and asking for a drink. I ought to have been annoyed, but I was actually relieved not to have to wrestle again with this sexual cadaver.
Downstairs she began some conversation about the books beside the fireplace. I made some excuse about going out and closed the door behind her, thirty minutes after she had entered. My punts with this agency have been either A-star genius or hopeless non-events. I'll try and forget this as quick as I can.
Anonymous
The entire content of this report is for entertainment purposes only
and can be considered as a complete work of fiction which depicts the activities
of one or more fictional characters. Any reference to real persons, dead or alive
is purely coincidental.
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